Dear Friend, (11/12/08)

Hey,

I know it's been a while. I'm sorry. I really am. I forget sometimes, and I need reminders. Tonight I got one: Harrison said I should come to you. This is the only way I know how. Don't worry, I am slowly working on it. I'd like to be able to the right way, but I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Eventually I will be.

A lot has changed since I last wrote. Emotions have come and gone, some came to stay. I had a brief stint where I liked Braeden, but that turned out to be weird. I shall like him no more. It's probably for the best anyway. That was going nowhere, fast. But I've also discovered I am having a not-so-brief stint liking someone else. I don't know how to handle it. I like him way to much for how well and how long I've known him. It isn't right, yet it feels right. At least it does when it's just me and him. The trouble is, he's got a girlfriend. Yeah, I know: leave him be. And believe me, if I thought he was truly happy with her, I would. But he's not. She's constantly the cause of his unhappiness and worrisome countenace. I don't like seeming him like that. It makes me wish there was something I could do to make him happy.

Along those same lines, I am getting weirdly confusing mixed signals from him. He'll flirt with me, I swear! He'll find a way to touch my leg, or my waist. When we're sitting at a table, he's "accidently" touching my leg or foot, or anything. We'll talk about her, and he'll admit to loving her, but five seconds later, he'll say that people can fall in and out of love. He tells me that two people must agree on certain issues to be able to be together, then he'll ask me my views on such issues. Not only that, but we agree on them.

I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel. Maybe not to the extent of which I feel it, but he knows something is going on. And he still acts the same. I don't understand him, but i desperately want to.

I don't know what to do.

Help.

-Erika